November 9th, 2024
by Oluseye Ashiru
by Oluseye Ashiru
I don’t know about you, but sometimes it feels like mom guilt has a way of showing up uninvited, doesn’t it? You know the feeling—the one that creeps in when you’ve got just enough time to throw a quick meal together, only for your mind to start racing with thoughts like, “I should be doing more for my kids.” Or when you’re sitting down for a moment of peace and quiet, and that voice in your head says, “You should be cleaning. You should be organizing. You should be working on that next project.”
Can we just agree—mom guilt is real!
And while it’s totally normal to care deeply about our families, the weight of constant guilt can start to feel like an unbearable burden. Today, I want to talk about how to kick that guilt to the curb and fully embrace the grace that God has for you as a mom. Because the truth is—God never intended for us to carry that weight!
Can we just agree—mom guilt is real!
And while it’s totally normal to care deeply about our families, the weight of constant guilt can start to feel like an unbearable burden. Today, I want to talk about how to kick that guilt to the curb and fully embrace the grace that God has for you as a mom. Because the truth is—God never intended for us to carry that weight!
What is Mom Guilt, Really?
Mom guilt is that nagging feeling that you’re not doing enough for your family. It’s that voice in your head telling you that you’re failing if you’re not doing things “perfectly.” It might sound like, “Why don’t I have my kids in more extracurricular activities?” or “Why can’t I balance my job, home, and spiritual life like she does?”
This guilt is rooted in comparison, unrealistic expectations, and the feeling that you’re not measuring up to the “perfect mom” standard society often sets. And let’s be honest—no one can measure up to that standard, and that’s okay! You’re doing the best you can, and that’s enough.
This guilt is rooted in comparison, unrealistic expectations, and the feeling that you’re not measuring up to the “perfect mom” standard society often sets. And let’s be honest—no one can measure up to that standard, and that’s okay! You’re doing the best you can, and that’s enough.
The Problem with Mom Guilt
Let’s get real for a second. Mom guilt doesn’t help anyone. It doesn’t help your kids, your spouse, or even you. All it does is weigh you down with shame and steal the joy of motherhood. Instead of focusing on what you are doing, guilt gets you stuck in a cycle of what you’re not doing.
If you let it, mom guilt can cloud your judgment, rob your peace, and even cause you to neglect your own needs. But God wants more for you! He doesn’t want you to live in constant self-doubt or under the pressure to be perfect.
The truth is, you are not called to do it all—and you are certainly not called to do it all perfectly. That’s where God’s grace steps in.
If you let it, mom guilt can cloud your judgment, rob your peace, and even cause you to neglect your own needs. But God wants more for you! He doesn’t want you to live in constant self-doubt or under the pressure to be perfect.
The truth is, you are not called to do it all—and you are certainly not called to do it all perfectly. That’s where God’s grace steps in.
The Truth About God’s Grace
Let’s take a quick detour into grace. Grace is unmerited favor—God’s ability to work in and through us, even when we don’t deserve it. Grace frees us from the lie that we have to be perfect to be worthy of love, acceptance, or peace. It’s what empowers us to continue pressing on, even when we don’t have it all together.
Psalm 103:13-14 says, “As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him; for He knows how we are formed, He remembers that we are dust.” God knows we’re human. He understands our limitations, and He doesn’t expect perfection. Instead, He offers grace to cover our mistakes, our shortcomings, and our tired hearts.
In 2 Corinthians 12:9, Paul reminds us that God’s grace is enough: “But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”
In other words, the more you acknowledge your weaknesses, the more you can tap into God’s strength. The pressure to “have it all together” is a lie—and when you lean into His grace, you can walk in freedom, knowing that you don’t have to be perfect.
Psalm 103:13-14 says, “As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him; for He knows how we are formed, He remembers that we are dust.” God knows we’re human. He understands our limitations, and He doesn’t expect perfection. Instead, He offers grace to cover our mistakes, our shortcomings, and our tired hearts.
In 2 Corinthians 12:9, Paul reminds us that God’s grace is enough: “But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”
In other words, the more you acknowledge your weaknesses, the more you can tap into God’s strength. The pressure to “have it all together” is a lie—and when you lean into His grace, you can walk in freedom, knowing that you don’t have to be perfect.
How to Let Go of Mom Guilt
- Recognize It’s Not From God
First things first: Mom guilt isn’t from God. He doesn’t shame you; He calls you to freedom. Guilt comes from the enemy, seeking to keep you in bondage and away from God’s peace. Remind yourself when you feel that nagging guilt: “This is not of God.”
- Shift Your Focus to Gratitude
Instead of focusing on what you’re not doing, try shifting your focus to what you are doing. Celebrate the moments where you showed up as the mom you want to be. Did you listen to your child’s story about their day? Did you show them love and support? Did you make time to nurture your marriage or your own well-being?
- Give Yourself Permission to Rest
I know it sounds counterintuitive, but rest is part of God’s design for you as a mom. You need time to recharge, both physically and spiritually. When you’re constantly running on empty, it’s easy to feel like you’re failing, but rest allows you to be a better mom, wife, and woman. Take time for yourself, whether it’s a walk outside, a cup of tea, or even a nap.
- Embrace Your Imperfections
Let’s stop pretending to be “perfect.” Embrace the fact that you’re going to mess up sometimes. That’s part of the beautiful, messy journey of motherhood. And guess what? Your kids are learning from your imperfections, too. They see your heart, your love, and your efforts—and that’s what really matters.
- Give Yourself Grace
This one’s simple but powerful: Give yourself grace. You don’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to have it all together. You don’t have to do everything for everyone. You just need to do your best and rely on God’s strength.
A Prayer for the Weary Mom
Lord, thank You for Your unending grace. Thank You for understanding my weaknesses and loving me despite them. Help me to embrace Your love and to release any guilt that’s weighing me down. Teach me to rest in You, to find joy in the little moments, and to trust that I am enough because You are enough. Please remind me that You are working through me, even when I feel like I’m not doing enough. Give me strength, wisdom, and peace as I parent, and help me to remember that I am loved, I am chosen, and I am covered by Your grace.
In Jesus' name, Amen.
In Jesus' name, Amen.
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