May 6th, 2024
by Oluseye Ashiru
by Oluseye Ashiru
Welcome back, Kingdom Wives! We’re here for Part 2 of our series, and today it’s all about communication and forgiveness. Ah, yes—the two things that can either keep your marriage strong or leave you both scratching your heads (or pulling out your hair). Who knew the Bible could give us some epic lessons on both? Let’s dive into stories from women in the Bible who mastered—or at least learned the hard way—how to communicate and forgive like pros.
The Wisdom of Abigail: How to Speak Up with Grace
First, let’s meet Abigail, who gives us a masterclass in both timing and tact. Married to a difficult man named Nabal, Abigail knew how to handle tough conversations. When Nabal’s decisions put their whole family in danger, Abigail stepped in to smooth things over. She didn’t go in guns blazing; instead, she approached David with humility and wisdom (1 Samuel 25).
Here’s the lesson: Abigail teaches us that communication isn’t about winning an argument or proving who’s right. It’s about knowing when and how to speak. If something’s on your mind, don’t let it simmer until you boil over in frustration. Instead, channel your inner Abigail—calm, collected, and clear.
Wifely Wisdom: Before that next big discussion, pause, breathe, and ask yourself: How can I say this with love and grace? Remember, a gentle answer turns away wrath (Proverbs 15:1).
Here’s the lesson: Abigail teaches us that communication isn’t about winning an argument or proving who’s right. It’s about knowing when and how to speak. If something’s on your mind, don’t let it simmer until you boil over in frustration. Instead, channel your inner Abigail—calm, collected, and clear.
Wifely Wisdom: Before that next big discussion, pause, breathe, and ask yourself: How can I say this with love and grace? Remember, a gentle answer turns away wrath (Proverbs 15:1).
Leah and Rachel: When Sibling Rivalry Turns Into Marriage Lessons
Leah and Rachel are a prime example of what not to do. Their rivalry led to all kinds of bitterness and drama. Now, while you’re probably not competing with your husband’s other wives (hopefully!), their story reminds us that comparisons and competition don’t belong in a healthy marriage.
When we let little grudges build up, they can quietly poison our relationship. Forgiveness is about refusing to let past hurts pile up. Ephesians 4:31-32 reminds us to “get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger,” choosing instead to be “kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” If Rachel and Leah had Instagram, they’d probably be throwing shade in every caption. Instead, let’s throw kindness and understanding into our relationships.
Wifely Wisdom: Let go of the small stuff before it snowballs. Next time something bothers you, take it to God first. Sometimes, simply praying about it can lighten your heart and save you a future apology.
When we let little grudges build up, they can quietly poison our relationship. Forgiveness is about refusing to let past hurts pile up. Ephesians 4:31-32 reminds us to “get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger,” choosing instead to be “kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” If Rachel and Leah had Instagram, they’d probably be throwing shade in every caption. Instead, let’s throw kindness and understanding into our relationships.
Wifely Wisdom: Let go of the small stuff before it snowballs. Next time something bothers you, take it to God first. Sometimes, simply praying about it can lighten your heart and save you a future apology.
Hannah: When Words Fail, Pray
Now let’s talk about Hannah. She was dealing with some serious stuff—disappointment, rejection, and heartache over her struggle to have a child. Instead of lashing out, she poured her heart out to God (1 Samuel 1). And guess what? He heard her.
Hannah’s story is a beautiful reminder that we don’t always have to have all the words figured out. Sometimes, your husband may not even know you’re upset. Instead of giving him the silent treatment (we’ve all been there), go to God first.
Wifely Wisdom: Before hashing out that argument, spend a moment in prayer. Ask God to guide your words and to soften both your hearts. It’s amazing how much peace this can bring!
Hannah’s story is a beautiful reminder that we don’t always have to have all the words figured out. Sometimes, your husband may not even know you’re upset. Instead of giving him the silent treatment (we’ve all been there), go to God first.
Wifely Wisdom: Before hashing out that argument, spend a moment in prayer. Ask God to guide your words and to soften both your hearts. It’s amazing how much peace this can bring!
The Proverbs 31 Woman: Let Go of Perfection
Ah, the Proverbs 31 woman. She’s so perfect that sometimes we think she has it all together with zero effort. But here’s the thing—she’s not a perfect wife; she’s a purposeful wife. She’s intentional in her words and actions, and she strives to bring goodness to her family.
When it comes to forgiveness, remember this: no marriage is perfect, and no one gets it right 100% of the time. Your husband is going to make mistakes (and, let’s be real, so are you). What matters is that you’re both willing to forgive and move forward. Colossians 3:13 says, “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
Wifely Wisdom: Let go of perfection and embrace forgiveness. Marriage isn’t about getting it right every time; it’s about choosing to love and forgive time and time again.
When it comes to forgiveness, remember this: no marriage is perfect, and no one gets it right 100% of the time. Your husband is going to make mistakes (and, let’s be real, so are you). What matters is that you’re both willing to forgive and move forward. Colossians 3:13 says, “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
Wifely Wisdom: Let go of perfection and embrace forgiveness. Marriage isn’t about getting it right every time; it’s about choosing to love and forgive time and time again.
Communication and forgiveness can feel like a dance you’re still learning, but with God’s help, you can get the rhythm down. Whether you’re speaking your mind like Abigail, laying down bitterness like Leah and Rachel should have, praying like Hannah, or embracing forgiveness like the Proverbs 31 woman, remember that God has equipped you to handle the ups and downs of marriage.
Takeaway Prayer: “Lord, thank You for the gift of communication and the power of forgiveness. Help me to speak with love, listen with grace, and forgive with a full heart. Teach me to be quick to let go of hurts and to always seek peace with my husband, just as You have made peace with me.”
Takeaway Prayer: “Lord, thank You for the gift of communication and the power of forgiveness. Help me to speak with love, listen with grace, and forgive with a full heart. Teach me to be quick to let go of hurts and to always seek peace with my husband, just as You have made peace with me.”
Stay tuned for Part 3, where we’ll dig into Creating a Home Atmosphere of Love and Respect. Remember, you’re not just any wife—you’re a Kingdom Wife!
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